All New Latest Memoirs!

We've recently had two grandmothers, 4 cousins and 2 aunt/uncles visit us over the last few weeks. Sounds terrifying to a bunch of people but luckily they're actually rather nice relatives. Kids played supernice together, grownups even more so. We haven't spent so much time sifting on the beach since we arrived. Very pleasant, thanks family.






Cousin Lucy and Uncle John in a state of terror. A quick evacuation was needed when the water was inundated with Exotoxic Homing Turtles. Very dangerous.





Some random photo of us mucking around in the lagoon before dinner one evening. Warm water, safe, good snorkling.  Double thumbs up.


I went out to a party for a parliamentary delegation from Australia recently. They were leaving the next day so were keen on a few drinks. The Hon Peter Slipper MP Speaker of the House kept filling my wine glass while treating me to a list of possible ways that Australia might absorb NZ into its economic systems. Very weird. But there were some great people there. Samoa has some things in common with Mongolia (!) – there are plenty of chances to get in contact with some powerful positions, bigfishsmallpond stuff. I’m unlikely to run into the New Zealand Speaker of the House for a few wines. Perhaps I’ve prioritized my life funny.


I climbed up the highest peak in Samoa a few weeks ago. Mount Silisili. The word means almighty/supreme but of course it just sounds sillysilly. Bush bashed from near sea level to 1850m in tropical heat but loved it. My Samoan language is pretty poor but could still act as translator for the boys I went up with and the Samoan guide. Unfortunately got a couple of minor scratches with weeks later turned into a massively swollen, angry red, pus-filled infection. Still on antibiotics 8 weeks later. Does the earth hate me somehow? 3 out of 4 of us got nasty infections. Maybe its like tutankhamun’s tomb and all cursed and stuff. Or possibly bad luck.


Here's me descending into one of the craters on Mt Silisili. You can see some of the others down below. Somewhere in those brambles are some evil bacteria just waiting for palagi legs to habitate. The first day was a 10 hour push to get to the top and back to the camp site. Well worth it though. (note to self: edit this bit if leg gets amputated).


Belinda is just about finished a huge month. There was an horrible incident involving stuff I won't put on the internet - but involved some tough calls by Belinda.   After that, each week Belinda's work have been treated to loads of final year vet students.  Most of them are nice enough, but they do tend to get in the way and slow things down. All month. She’s doing really well though. When Belinda puts her mind to something, shes on fire and unstoppable.


Last week our division (about 50 staff) was meant to have an AGM. Due to a few reasons (lack of interest featured), it got cancelled along with the games we were to play in the afternoon. Instead, the kava came out. Kava is a drink made from the root of some weird tuber and is half way between alcohol and opioids.  Two 20 litre containers is a bunch of kava.

The CEO came in for a couple of cups too. My team is always scared of writing reports for this man because he’s such a senior that you need to use really fancy formal words. He’s a village chief as well as the boss of our section. Anyway the fancy formal language gets a bit stuck when English isn’t your first language. I don’t know the words that were in his head but I figure he wanted me to know that kava causes certain temporary physiological changes. The words he used however, were “Steve. This kava. It bad for your cock.”  Had to giggle.


No internet at work for the 3rd day now. On the up side, we have had running water for like 2 weeks in a row! Stoked.


Survivor is still here. Ate a massive lunch at the fancy resort again with my team the other day. This time though I rejected one of their TV chickens because of Avian pox. This was a mild case where the meat would have been completely fine for human consumption. I rejected it because it had big sores on its head and would have looked ugly on tv. I'm sure the producers would have been horrified if I let it through.  Keeping America safe from ugliness is important right?


Justus has started some Judo lessons and is really quite good when he puts his mind to it. Unsurprisingly, 6 year olds find it hard to “put their mind to it”. Half the time the judo mat is just a swarm of giggling, running craziness. I’m not big on martial arts, but judo seems that much cooler than karate or taikwando or whatever. Who knows how long it will last for but its great.




Justus is deciding whether to be an art teacher or a breakdancer when he grows up.


Righto.





Mum was keen on taking photos of the kids with their teachers. They've got quite the tan huh? Really pleased with their teachers this year. It's a bit of a gamble with teachers in Samoa so lets hope next year is just as good.

A day of interesting events.

We started the morning with a trip to Aggie Grey’s resort.  This huge hotel complex has been completely booked for 3 months by the producers of the TV show “Survivor”.  The show features a cast of people chosen for reasons other than their ability to survive.  Characteristics like emotional rollercoastering, bitchiness and machismo-ness make better TV apparently.  Get two teams of crazy city folk competing for limited food, and you can make a lot of money.

As a prize for the said competitions, Thursday’s prize was to be two hens and a rooster.  Being an American TV show, risk must be brought to an absolute minimum of course.   A signed veterinary certificate was to be provided to the producers after ensuring that the chooks were fit for human consumption. 

Hence the trip to Aggie Grey’s resort.

There are a handful of us whities here in Samoa.  And there is an entire township temporarily living in Aggies Grey’s I discovered.  All twentysomethings; all loose-cat lefties who choose painting designs on TV props over corporate ladder climbing.  A fascinating anthropological study at the least.

Actually we were here for the second time.  The producers weren’t happy with the size of the first chooks.  And they wanted better layers.  That way they could ramp up the TV tension by having the competitors bicker and fight about whether to keep the chickens as egg producers, or kill them for a nice big meal early.  Nice theory guys.  Unfortunately Samoan hens aren’t interested in laying a big juicy egg every day.  You need specially bred layers to lay every day.  But they were healthy and a certificate was signed.  I was careful to include a disclaimer about “…fit for human consumption provided they are properly slaughtered and prepared”.  I don’t need some L.A. hairdresser suing me because they accidently smeared chicken crap all over their undercooked drumstick.

On the way back into town we stopped at the Lotto shop.  It seems that one of my team had won the Samoan Lotto but wouldn’t tell us how much he had won. 

While we had stopped, our attention was drawn to a strange lady on the other side of the road.  She was clearly not in a sane state of affairs jabbering aggressively to invisible cars and other mythical creatures.  No one was getting hurt though until she suddenly decided to turn her angry mutterings at a truck coming by.  I’ve never seen such a lean on a truck as it screeched sideways to avoid her.  To make sure we knew who was in charge, the lady then showed us all her bum and ran off.

Then was the huge bull with a nasty infection in the neck (beautifully roped down by my boys), the skinny cow owned by the Samoan equivalent of Billy Connelly (no one home), the calf with only three feet (horrible rope injury), the boar castration (the old feed-and-catch trick failed for this crafty bugger – and he has really sharp tusks), the repeat pig vaccinations (“ummm, yeah I think they are all dead now, not sure really”), and lastly back to the office for some cartography (that’s map making right?  It’s amazing how far a basic GPS machine, Google Earth, and an old pirate of PhotoShop can get you).

Not a typical day.

I applied for a job in Samoa which had a very wide range of facets.  Some things would be fairly easy, others might justify the guzzling of expensive duty-free whisky purchases.  Then, within weeks of arriving, I got news that the job would expand in responsibility massively and all national animal health decisions would pass my desk.  I would either survive or run whimpering home every night to lick my wounds.   Hopefully the former.  But this anticipated role expansion got delayed.  And then delayed.  And then got discussed no more.  My mention of the topic was unwelcome.  Now eight months on I still have no idea whether this role will kick in tomorrow, or never.  Literally.

In addition, or, as it turns out, subtraction, my role has drastically shrunk from the original.

In Samoa, Samoan veterinarians are more rare than wearehamlin@blogspot blogs.  To fill the gap, someone clever invented “para-vets”.  Para-vets are technicians with basic skills in treating animals.  Certainly someone needs to hand out penicillin and grazing advice.  One of my many original responsibilities was to up-skill these para-vets so they might give the right injection to the right cow.  Etc.  But the subtraction comes in when my superiors become determined that all roles disappear except farm visits, as well as training the paravets.  Which is kinda double dipping really.  Either Samoa needs a vet, or Samoa can’t get a vet and needs para-vets.  But actually they want both.

So I’ve come from expecting quite the challenge, to preparing for ultimate responsibility, and then down to a single (double?) role.

But you play the hand you’re dealt though eh?

Ok I think, I quite like these para-vets, they’ve become my friends by now.  But they’re pretty lazy when it comes to work.  How can I play my part in giving some amphetamines to the rather stagnant agriculture sector in Samoa?  The Fijians have a theory based Para-vet teaching manual, but I create a Treatment Guide which is far more practical.  Before getting starting pushing the manual on unsuspecting staff, I construct the baseline test.  Let’s at least get some baseline data so we can see what happens over the next wee while.  I’m nervous about setting this test.  Some of the para-vets don’t read and write very well and I’m sure they’ll think I’m being an unfaithful friend who will show up their weaknesses to the boss.  I promise them that the test is just for us.  The only people who will see it are me and another friend who will translate from Samoan to English.  I set up the driver to be the scribe and we get it stated.  I figure it will take half an hour, but there are delays, and sniggers, and hushed suspicious conversations which go on for some time.  I reiterate that cheating sharing answers is of no value because they are being tested against themselves over time.  Maybe some of them will improve a whole lot in the next few months; or maybe they will be too lazy I will need to change my teaching (sooo diplomatic).

Two and a half hours late they have all finished.  But there is a big surprise.  They LOVE it.  They are asking when the next test will be.  They are all talking about colostrum and water intake and whether ivomec is an antibiotic.  They are bubbling with enthusiasm about their job.  They want to know everything!  I’ve got a confused look on my face wondering where the laziness went. This was just meant to be data collection right?  Maybe I’m the one who has been lazy.  Maybe it was the competition.  I don’t know, but that was a sweet turning point.  One para-vet has recently been promoted and I retested him.  Doubled his score.  Nice.

It's Friday and I've been away from work with a dry cough and sore head.  Belinda convinced me to take a walk up to the mini-mart to clear my head and get out of the house.  We needed 4 boring groceries things and the trip would take about half an hour.

Ended up being quite the social Friday night.

To start with, there's this short cut.  Goes up to a little residential road and makes the trip to the shop much more of a straight line.  The short cut path turned into a plantation which turned into a residence (read collection of open sided fale's) which I was feeling awkward about.  Then I see Aunuu who I know who tells me its fine to go through his place and gives me a lesson in sharpening bush knives.

I get to the shop and run into a new friend who is a lawyer married to a Samoan.  We have a long chat about the mobile phone and how they are changing the world.

I walk the long way back for a change and run into a bunch of labourers and drivers I know who are tucking into the vodka.  I gave one of them a worm tablet for his puppy a week ago and he insists I have 3 vodkas on him  before I leave.  We chat about dairy cows and other things that guys drinking vodka like to talk about.

I come home to be presented with a fantastic drawing of a ute from Riley, and two new cartoon characters from Justus (see below).

Time for a movie with my lovely wife and an early night.

Not bad for a sick day.

anyone actually read this bit?

I’ve heard that some of you are wondering if we’ll ever get around to updating beyond December.  Fair call – no excuse really.

We had a lovely Samoan Christmas celebrated in the morning by the 4 of us opening pressies at home, then heading out later in the day to celebrate with various other expats living here. Mostly Aussies, strangely enough.  

Aunty Kirst arrived on Boxing day which was lots of fun and a good excuse to play tourists for a while showing her the sights. We headed of to the big island of Savaii for a bit under a week and had a lovely time snorkeling around the coral, frolicking in waterfalls, swimming with turtles and getting RAINED on. It was the start of us understanding why they call it the rainy season – WOW.

After Kirst left we hunkered down all prepared for a tropical cyclone which managed to narrowly miss Samoa but headed on to do a bit of damage in Tonga I think.  It was a good excuse to try out our Kerosene Hurricane lamps and stock up on supplies and figure out everything that we needed to have around if a true emergency situation should strike.  Living in a house where 90% of the external walls are glass (louvers so you can pretend it's a fale) is a bit off putting with cyclone warnings.

Getting back into work took a bit of effort but we both seemed to have settled back in now. B is working on the balance between keeping good surgery skills and helping out with Practice Management – What the?? The girl who thought she would never be into Management stuff is secretly enjoying it – for now anyway. Steve’s work is still pottering along slowly with small victories every so often but unfortunately for him it’s a bit more difficult to generate good direction compared with b’s job.

Justus is loving school this year and seems even more settled and motivated to learn which is great – he’s going to be a 6 year old in a couple of days – who can believe that?? Riley continues being 99% sweet, lovely girl and 1% stubborn as a petrol bomb. She too is enjoying being back at school with her beloved teacher Joy and her friends.

Granny is here for 2 and a ½ weeks at the moment and came with at least 15kg of gifts and lovely stuff for our family – Bless Her. It’s so lovely to have visitors from home. Samoa is super beautiful, the people lovely and we’re really happy being here doing what we do, but we still miss our homeland. Loads of love to all of you – we’ll try to not make it so long before the next one.

School is finished for the year and we've had our first ever school reports home. We're all feeling very grown up.

Hot water is now up and go since yesterday which is very exciting for us and our visitors. Still working on the curtains and the bed.

It's been a really busy couple of weeks and we're enjoying a quiet weekend at home, Steve's trying to cut us a new path down the driveway with his machete as the drive is turning into a bit of a mud bog with all the wet weather. Really looking forward to Christmas Holidays and Aunty Kirst visiting.

Ah Bliss!! We finally bit the bullet and have internet to our dining table.

Hi Everyone - we're officially on line at home. Above are some of the more recent pics of us and the kids. We're all happy and well and enjoying our Samoan times. Had a great movie evening this weekend with lots of mates around to enjoy our new projector which Steve picked up on his brief stint in Melbourne. My favorite part is our screen which we fixed together for stuff all with some hardboard and paint from the local hardware shop. I thought that just Steve and I were missing the internet but apparently so was Justus who was back playing his favorite online game within a few hours of the guys hooking up our receiver and modem today. Will write some more soon - promise.